Things I Still Find Funny Even Though They’re Totally Played
Posted on | June 28, 2012 | Comments Off on Things I Still Find Funny Even Though They’re Totally Played
Farts
Let’s just get this one out of the way. Farts are funny. Not too long ago, I sat around the dinner table with my entire family and we all played various fart machine apps on our phones. Several of us laughed hard enough to evoke the real thing. I don’t know why farts are so funny, they just are.
“Shut the front door!”
I know it’s lame — I’ve heard this a thousand times now — I still smile when it’s used correctly. You tell someone something shocking and as they begin to reply, in the back of your mind your expecting to hear the F-bomb, but it never comes. Instead it’s replaced with something your mom probably said a hundred times with equal passion.
The commercial where the guy pretends he’s not looking at his phone while on a date.
I think this is just some great editing. In addition, the actor uses just the right combination of earnestness and guilt.
Cats falling off things
Like most people I believe that cats think very highly of themselves and seeing them at their worst moments is just plain funny. While I don’t want to spend hours talking about how adorable your cat is or all the funny things he/she does, I do want to see video of cats falling into aquariums, off counter tops and, of course, off window sills. By the way, my understanding is that the cat in this particular video was OK.
Horrible puns
My wife calls them “Grandpa Jokes.” That’s fine. I can’t always help what comes out of my mouth. For me I think puns take the fast train through my brain and circumvent any filters. This unfortunately means I might make the world’s lamest pun just as readily as the most clever. I’m in it for quantity over quality I guess. Besides, Alfred Hitchcock once said that “Puns are the highest form of literature.”
One of Those Days
Posted on | June 18, 2012 | Comments Off on One of Those Days
Ever have one of those days where it seems like it’s been predetermined that things are just going to keep going wrong until you give up and go back to bed? Like maybe you accidentally hit yourself in the jewels while spiking a football and then someone knocks you unconscious?
Worst end zone celebration ever.
I think we need to begin recognizing that while we have a limited supply of days in our lives we also need to accept that a share of them are just not going to be worth the effort. Let’s say you wake up early to chat with your girlfriend in Australia. What could go wrong?
Thank God he had pants on.
But you soldier on and decide to go golfing with your buddies.
I think he just added a handicap.
Undaunted, you stop at the grocery store on the way home to pick up milk and the next thing you know…
No use suing over spilled milk.
You stop at the gym to work off the stress you’ve built up and…
Her face got quite a workout.
To lighten things you decide to play a prank on your friend and jump out of a recycling bin with a scary mask on. Won’t he be surprised?
We interrupt this interview for some breaking nose.
Maybe it’s time to just go to bed.
Or maybe not…
Pet Names: You’ve Purchased a Plucky Little Pup — Now What?
Posted on | June 10, 2012 | Comments Off on Pet Names: You’ve Purchased a Plucky Little Pup — Now What?
I want to lick your face so much it's made me sad.
It started one day when your kids visited their friend’s house and met their rambunctious little family friend “Jake,” possibly the cutest puppy yet produced on Earth (according to reliable sources). Since then it’s been an endless refrain of “Can we get a dog? Can we get a dog? Can we get a dog?” Finally you break down, visit the local animal shelter or pet store and adopt a little pup for the family.
Once you get home, the first question will be “What’s his name? What’s his name? What’s his name?” Maybe he doesn’t have one, maybe you forgot it on the way home because you also stopped at Sears to check out gas grills and then Taco Bell for lunch. Either way, you’d better come up with something quick.
Just gather the family around our new Dog Name Generator and keep clicking until you get consensus. We’ve stuffed it with over 3,000 dog names so there’s plenty to choose from. You can thank us later.
Randomly Generate Your Bucket List
Posted on | June 8, 2012 | Comments Off on Randomly Generate Your Bucket List
Starring in the movie of your life doesn't count.
I noticed that one of our members, midnightbeliever created a 2012 Reading Challenge Generator, the point of which, I assume is to randomly generate a book that you promise to read this year. Given that I haven’t read passed the 17th page of a book in several years I will not be taking on this particular challenge. However, it did inspire me to create a Bucket List Generator, which will guide my actions (at least the insane, ill-advised ones) for the rest of my life.
Plus I can cross “Create a Bucket List Generator” off my bucket list.
Note: Generatorland will not be held responsible for your death, dismemberment, public ridicule, loss of spouse or any other result based on your use of this generator.
STOP EATING EACH OTHER!
Posted on | June 6, 2012 | Comments Off on STOP EATING EACH OTHER!
I truly didn't expect zombies to be water-proof.
I saw this today:
The Zombie Apocalypse Continues With Two More Attacks In Miami And Louisiana.
And I’m beginning to think that:
A) the press might have been under-reporting these incidents prior to the catchy “Zombie Apocalypse” moniker and
B) I’m going to go live on the moon.
Name Generator Fun at Generator Land
Posted on | June 3, 2012 | Comments Off on Name Generator Fun at Generator Land
Words go in, fun comes out!
With all the name generators being produced on a daily basis at the mothership, it’s easy for us to get behind in thanking the witty and attractive Generator Land members who make our site possible. Here’s a Name Generator Shout-Out to some of our more recent Generati:
DarkChibiShadow has been driving mad Tumblr traffic with the Monster Girl and Boy Generator. It’s become the drawing fodder for a host of talented artsy types on Tumbler. These for instance.
Evermynd has several highly-rated generators, but the highest rating goes to the Futuristic Weapon Name Generator. I don’t know much about futuristic weapons, but these sound pretty sweet. Where do I get my Aphelion Proton Grenade 2.0?
The beautifully-named IrisTheFlower apparently also believes in Weird Female Names. How’s “Lapamina” grab you?
kuesopop is one of our more prolific members, but my favorite is the Long Word Generator. Simple, effective and ridiculous. Here’s a sampling:
- prodstaeeillyoma
- superxerernmyiasisate
- conreeticphysariumgamy
- postferianxenoonympath
Let’s throw those out there at the next local spelling bee.
Keep up the great work all!
Stop Tickling Your Otter!
Posted on | June 3, 2012 | Comments Off on Stop Tickling Your Otter!
I think there are laws against this. Adorable little laws.
When Did Being a Cannibal Become Fashionable?
Posted on | June 3, 2012 | Comments Off on When Did Being a Cannibal Become Fashionable?
Color me delicious.
Apparently we are all doomed to be eaten by naked LSD junkies, our roommates or, possibly our own mothers.
I have to say this trend caught me by surprise. I just started trying to eat more raw food and I thought I was being trendy. Clearly I missed the boat once again.
On the other hand, if this is indeed the work of zombies then I should probably turn my attention to zombie defense techniques. I’m pretty sure I’m delicious.
Another Reason I Don’t Have Pets
Posted on | June 2, 2012 | Comments Off on Another Reason I Don’t Have Pets
MySpace: The Tacky Teenage Diary That Wouldn’t Die
Posted on | May 23, 2012 | Comments Off on MySpace: The Tacky Teenage Diary That Wouldn’t Die
If no one hears an angst-ridden teen complain, do they really exist?
Remember MySpace, that garishly festooned micro blogging bastion for angst-ridden teens and child predators? Apparently it’s not only still around (I know!) it’s actually going to relaunch as a “music hub!” Again! I’m sure someone at MySpace is running around getting everyone else excited about the “new paradigm” at the company and the “endless possibilities” for the future as the rest of the staff heads out for a “long lunch” after spending the day hitting up “LinkedIn” looking for new jobs. Perhaps after some rebranding, a few short-lived partnerships and an inevitable and embarrassing collapse, the social site that started it all will finally rest in peace.
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